How to Avoid Fear, Worry, Anxiety, Stress, and Envy

A 3-Minute Guide for Peace of Mind.

How to Avoid Fear, Worry, Anxiety, Stress, and Envy

Life is filled with uncertainties, and as we grow older, the weight of expectations often grows heavier. Particularly in Indian families, where the aspirations for our children — their education, career, and marriage — can often dominate our thoughts, leading to worry, stress, and even guilt. We may feel responsible for “settling” them, and when things don’t unfold as planned, it can generate feelings of fear and anxiety. However, it is crucial to understand that there’s a fine line between real danger and fear. The former is tangible, while fear is a creation of the mind.

Let’s explore how to ease these burdens and embrace a calmer, more peaceful approach to life.

Danger vs Fear: Recognising the Difference

Danger is real. It is something that threatens our safety or well-being. Fear, on the other hand, is often rooted in the mind — a perception of what could happen rather than what is happening. While danger requires immediate action, fear paralyses us, making us dwell on possibilities that may never come to pass.

As Shakespeare wisely said, “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.” This quote reminds us that fear forces us to experience imagined suffering repeatedly, even though the actual event may never occur.

Instead of letting fear dictate our lives, it is important to stay grounded in the present and distinguish between real threats and unnecessary anxieties.

FOMO and Life’s Different Paths

The fear of missing out (FOMO) is a modern phenomenon, but it is deeply intertwined with our traditional concerns. As parents, we often compare our children’s progress to that of others, fearing they are falling behind or making wrong choices. This can lead to unnecessary stress.

Remember, everyone’s journey is different. Just because one path seems successful for others doesn’t mean it’s the right one for your children. Encourage them to follow their hearts and make decisions aligned with their passions. As the Bhagavad Gita says:

“Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana”

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
You have the right to perform your actions, but you are not entitled to the fruits of those actions.

It is a reminder that we must let go of the obsession with results and focus on performing our duties with integrity. Your children’s success may not look exactly as you envisioned, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable.

Finding and Following Ikigai: A Life of Purpose

The Japanese concept of Ikigai is about finding the intersection of what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. It’s a roadmap to living a life of purpose and fulfilment. When our children, or we ourselves, are unclear about our direction in life, following the principles of Ikigai can help create clarity and peace.

Encourage your children to explore their passions and develop their strengths. It is far better to pursue a meaningful life than to follow societal expectations blindly. Each individual’s journey to finding their Ikigai is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all formula for success.

Envy: The Illusion of Happiness and Hidden Struggles

In today's world, social media often magnifies feelings of envy. As we scroll through Facebook or Instagram, we see carefully curated images of people seemingly living perfect lives — travelling to exotic destinations, achieving career milestones, or celebrating family moments. This can lead us to believe that others are happier or more fulfilled. However, these posts rarely show the full picture.

The increasing instances of suicides among celebrities, influencers, and high achievers should serve as a sobering reminder that external success and appearances do not always reflect inner peace or happiness. Shakespeare’s timeless wisdom, "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown," from Henry IV, highlights that those who seem to have it all may carry the heaviest burdens. Rather than comparing ourselves and falling into the trap of envy, it is essential to remember that everyone faces struggles, no matter how perfect their lives may seem from the outside.

Embracing an Attitude of Gratitude

In a world that constantly pushes us to achieve more, it’s easy to lose sight of what we already have. Gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful practices to cultivate happiness and peace. By focusing on the blessings in our lives, rather than what we lack, we can reduce stress and worry.

A verse from the holy Sikh Gurbani reminds us of the beauty of contentment:

“ਧਨੁ ਜੋਬਨੁ ਅਰੁ ਫੁਲੜਾ ਨਾਠਤ ਹੀ ਛਿਨ ਮਾਹਿ ॥ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਸਾਰੁ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਰਸੁ ਪਾਨੀਐ ਸਭਿ ਤਾਹਿ ॥”

Dhan joban ar phulrhaa, naathat hee kẖin maahi. Ram naam saar amrit ras, paaneeai sabh taahi.

Wealth, youth, and beauty vanish in an instant. But the true essence is to imbibe the nectar of God's name.

This reminds us that worldly attachments and comparisons are fleeting. True joy comes from spiritual fulfilment, contentment, and gratitude for life’s inherent gifts.

A Note of Optimism: Cultivating Peace in Your Heart

Ultimately, the key to overcoming fear, anxiety, and envy is to cultivate peace within. Life may not always unfold as we planned, and our children may take paths we never expected. However, every challenge is an opportunity for growth, and every setback teaches us valuable lessons.

By recognising the difference between danger and fear, avoiding comparisons, embracing gratitude, and following our purpose, we can find peace. The world is constantly changing, but our inner calm can remain unshaken if we cultivate the right mindset.

As you continue your journey, remember that peace begins within, and by letting go of the need to control every outcome, you make space for joy and fulfilment to flourish.

Summing Up: Gratitude, Not Guilt

The pressure to ensure our children are successful can lead to unnecessary guilt when things don’t go as planned. However, life is not a race, and there is no single definition of success. By letting go of fear, worry, and envy, and embracing an attitude of gratitude, we can create a more peaceful, fulfilling life — for both ourselves and our children.

Take a deep breath, trust the process, and be thankful for the journey ahead.