Happiness is a Choice: Attract Joy, Don’t Chase It

Happiness is a Choice, a Decision, Not A Destination.

Happiness is a Choice, a Decision, Not A Destination

Happiness is not something that just happens to us. It’s not a destination we reach after ticking off achievements or accumulating material wealth. In fact, while the American emblem famously declares the right to the “pursuit of happiness,” we beg to differ: happiness is not something to be pursued but something to be attracted. When we focus on creating the right mindset and living with purpose, happiness flows to us naturally. Happiness, ultimately, is a choice we make every single day, not a goal to chase after.

This profound concept is beautifully illustrated by the story of a 92-year-old lady who, despite being almost blind and moving to a nursing home, expressed boundless joy when shown her new room. She hadn’t even seen the room properly, yet she proclaimed, “I love it.” When asked why, she replied, “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.”

This simple truth—that we can decide to be happy regardless of circumstances—speaks volumes. It encourages us to embrace life fully, even with its challenges, by understanding that happiness is often a product of our mindset. When we combine this choice with other essential concepts—such as nature’s immutable law of pleasure and pain, the value of the journey over the destination, and the power of gratitude—we attract a deeper, more lasting sense of happiness.

Pleasure Now, Pain Later—or Pain Now, Pleasure Later

There’s a natural law that governs many aspects of life: pleasure now, pain later—or pain now, pleasure later. This law teaches us that we often have two paths in life. We can indulge in immediate gratification—whether it’s procrastination, avoiding responsibilities, or seeking temporary comforts—but we will eventually pay for it with pain, regret, or dissatisfaction. On the other hand, we can choose to endure discomfort, hard work, or discipline now, knowing that it will yield greater happiness and satisfaction in the future.

Think about the effort required to maintain physical health. Choosing to exercise regularly and maintain a balanced diet can feel like an uphill battle, especially when tempting pleasures such as junk food or skipping workouts beckon. However, the long-term rewards of health, vitality, and well-being far outweigh the temporary discomfort. By enduring the pain now, we secure lasting pleasure later.

This principle is not limited to physical health; it applies to all areas of life. Choosing to work hard in your career, invest in your relationships, or nurture personal growth may require sacrifice and effort, but these investments yield long-term happiness and fulfilment. By understanding and embracing this law, we shift our focus from immediate gratification to long-lasting contentment, which is a key aspect of attracting happiness into our lives.

The Pilgrimage is in the Journey, Not the Final ‘Darshan’

In life, we are often fixated on the final goal—the destination, the achievement, the reward. However, much like in a pilgrimage, the true value lies not just in reaching the sacred site, the darshan, but in the journey itself. Every step along the way—the challenges, the struggles, the moments of doubt and discovery—shapes us. The pilgrimage is not about the final view; it’s about the process of getting there.

Too often, we place our happiness on hold, waiting for a particular milestone to feel fulfilled. Whether it’s a job promotion, a relationship, or personal success, we pin our hopes on reaching that point and assume it will make us happy. But what if the true happiness lies in the path we take to get there?

By shifting our focus to the journey, we can begin to find joy in the everyday moments. The little victories, the lessons learned, and the growth we experience along the way are all parts of our pilgrimage. Just as Mrs. Jones decided to love her room before she even saw it, we can choose to love our journey even before reaching our goals. After all, the pilgrimage itself is the reward. In this way, happiness is attracted by our acceptance and appreciation of the process, not by pursuing an elusive end goal.

Gratification vs. Gratitude: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

Gratification and gratitude are two very different concepts, though they often intersect. Gratification tends to focus on satisfying immediate desires—whether it’s indulging in a treat, buying something new, or seeking instant results. While there is nothing inherently wrong with gratification, it is fleeting. The pleasure it brings is temporary, often leading to the need for repeated experiences to maintain satisfaction.

On the other hand, gratitude is a more enduring mindset. It is not about consuming or acquiring, but about appreciating what we already have, even in times of hardship. Gratitude allows us to rise above the fleeting nature of gratification by focusing on deeper, more meaningful sources of contentment. While the two can intersect—when we feel grateful for moments of gratification—gratitude is about a lasting state of appreciation, whereas gratification is momentary. In choosing to cultivate gratitude, we find happiness not just in what we have, but in the perspective we bring to our everyday life.

Gratitude Elevates Your Attitude

Developing an attitude of gratitude is one of the most transformative steps toward attracting happiness. Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have, from scarcity to abundance, and from complaint to appreciation. The more we practice gratitude, the more we elevate our attitude—and as the saying goes, your attitude determines your altitude. Just as a plane must adjust its altitude to avoid turbulence, our mindset must be elevated to navigate life’s challenges effectively.

Gratitude is not just about recognising the obvious blessings but finding appreciation in every moment, even during times of difficulty. When we adopt this attitude, we begin to see life’s challenges as opportunities for growth. In this way, gratitude and the concept of “pain now, pleasure later” are deeply interconnected. By being grateful for the lessons hidden within our struggles, we transform temporary pain into a stepping stone toward future joy.

The more we practice gratitude, the more we rise above the turbulence of life’s challenges. And as we rise, we discover a deeper, more sustained form of happiness—one that is not dependent on external circumstances but is rooted in our ability to see beauty and meaning in every experience.

Weaving It All Together: Happiness, Pain, the Journey, and Gratitude

These concepts—choosing happiness ahead of time, embracing the natural law of pleasure and pain, appreciating the journey over the destination, and cultivating gratitude—are all deeply interconnected. Together, they offer a roadmap for attracting a fulfilling and happy life.

By deciding to be happy ahead of time, as Mrs. Jones did, we empower ourselves to face life’s challenges with resilience. By understanding that temporary pain can lead to future pleasure, we develop the patience and discipline to endure life’s hardships with grace. By focusing on the journey rather than the final destination, we find joy in every step we take, rather than waiting for happiness to arrive at some distant future point. And by cultivating gratitude, we elevate our perspective, enabling us to see every moment—good or bad—as an opportunity for growth and joy.

Conclusion: How Will You Attract Happiness Today?

Happiness is not a distant goal; it’s a decision we make every day. It is about embracing life in its entirety—the pleasure and the pain, the journey and the destination, the struggles and the triumphs. By choosing happiness ahead of time, understanding that today’s pain leads to tomorrow’s pleasure, finding joy in the process, and practicing gratitude, we can create a life where happiness is not pursued but attracted.

Before we part, it's worth recalling our previous discussion on the key distinction between pleasure and happiness—a concept that continues to confuse many. While pleasure is fleeting and often dependent on external circumstances, happiness is deeper and comes from within. Those interested in exploring this difference further may refer to that article for a clearer understanding¹.

So, how will you attract happiness today? Will you embrace the challenges, appreciate the journey, and elevate your attitude with gratitude? The choice is yours to make, every single day—every single moment.

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