10 Things Civil Servants Need to Learn from Tortoises

Role Model for a Civil Servant?

Ten Things Civil Servants Need to Learn from Tortoises

In the grand tapestry of public administration— now re-labelled as good governance— where the warp of urgency intersects with the weft of deliberation, the Indian Administrative Service (IAS) stands as a testament to the virtues of patience and perseverance. Yet, in a lighter vein, one might argue that our esteemed civil servants could stand to learn a thing or ten from the venerable tortoise, nature's very own bureaucrat. Here, then, are ten tongue-in-cheek lessons for the modern civil servant, drawn from the life and times of these shelled sages.

1. Slow and Steady, Inch Forward Slowly: The hallmark of both the tortoise and the model civil servant. In an age of rapid change, there’s wisdom in not rushing into rash and reckless decisions. After all, it’s the tortoise that wins the race, not the hare with a penchant for hasty PowerPoint presentations.

2. Do Not Stick Your Neck Out: A cardinal rule for survival in the bureaucratic jungle. Like the tortoise, a civil servant is well-advised to keep their head down, lest it attract unwanted attention or, heaven forbid, additional responsibilities. Avoid undue risks— stand corrected, avoid any risks.

3. Be Amphibious, Capable of Surviving in Both Types of Habitats: Just as a tortoise thrives both on land and in water, a civil servant must navigate the murky waters of politics and the dry deserts of policy with equal ease. The capability to get along with politicians of all colours and hues.

4. Sport Heavy Back-Armour to Prevent Back-Stabbing: In the labyrinthine corridors of power, a metaphorical shell provides essential protection against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or at least those of colleagues.

5. Maintain a Low Profile: The lower the profile, the less likely it is to be clipped. A tortoise rarely finds itself the subject of controversy, primarily because it’s hard to scandalise something that’s usually mistaken for a rock.

   

6. Merge with the Landscape; Don’t Stand Out: In a field where visibility often equates to vulnerability, the ability to blend into the bureaucratic background is a prized skill, much like the tortoise’s knack for camouflaging itself as a particularly uninteresting boulder.

7. Appear Non-Threatening: Much like our shelled friends, a civil servant should project an aura of benign harmlessness. This makes it easier to advance one’s agenda without alarming the wildlife.

8. Publicise That You Are a Vegetarian: A vegetarian tortoise offends no one and, similarly, a civil servant who avoids devouring the resources of others will find themselves well-regarded by their peers and the public alike.

9. Be a Part of the “Creep” but Don’t Be a Creep: While it’s important to move with the collective, maintaining one’s dignity and respectability is crucial. No one likes a creep, whether it’s in the forest or the office.

10. Hint at the Presence of Galápagos Within the Family: Lastly, suggesting a lineage that traces back to the Galápagos lends an air of mystery and evolutionarily proven resilience. For a civil servant, implying a connection to these ancient survivors— read retired civil servants of some vintage— might just lend the necessary gravitas to survive the budget meetings.

Summing Up:

In jest, we find truths wrapped in laughter. The parallels drawn here, between the civil servants of the IAS and the tortoises of the animal kingdom, serve to highlight the virtues of patience, resilience, and adaptability. As we chuckle at the notion of bureaucrats modelling themselves after tortoises, let's not forget the underlying wisdom in taking life one slow, deliberate step at a time. After all, in the race to build a better nation, it might just be the tortoise-like civil servants who, through their steady and undramatic progress, make the most lasting impact.